When you find out your child is using drugs, the first thing to do is check for an overdose or immediate danger. If your child is hard to wake, breathing very slowly or not at all, or has blue or gray lips or fingertips, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room now. If you think an opioid overdose is happening and you have naloxone, use it and call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room now. If your child has suicidal thoughts or thoughts of self-harm, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room now, and call or text 988.
If there is no immediate danger, wait until your child is sober enough to talk. Describe what you saw without blame, and listen. Set clear safety boundaries, and ask a healthcare professional about an assessment and suitable care. Next steps differ for a teen and an adult child. We publish a U.S. treatment directory; we are not a treatment provider.
Check for an Emergency First
Before you talk to your child, make sure they are safe right now. Some situations need immediate medical help.
Recognizing an Overdose
Look for drug overdose signs if you think your child took too many drugs. Signs can vary. Learn more about signs of a drug overdose.
If you suspect an overdose or see immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room now. Do not wait to see if they improve on their own.
If you have naloxone nasal spray, give it while calling 911. Naloxone is used along with emergency medical treatment to reverse the life-threatening effects of a known or suspected opiate overdose.[1] Giving naloxone should never delay getting emergency care.
Other Urgent Resources
If your child is awake and alert, but you worry about poisoning, call Poison Control at 1-800-222-1222.[2] This Poison Control number helps with questions about poisoning or poison prevention.[2] It does not need to be an emergency.[2] If your child has trouble breathing, is unconscious, or shows any other danger signs, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room now.
If your child talks about suicide or self-harm, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room now, and call or text 988. You can also call or text the 988 Lifeline at 988 for free, confidential support 24 hours a day.[3] The 988 Lifeline offers call and text access to U.S. crisis support.[3] This resource is an additional layer of help; if there is immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room now.
What to Do in the First Day
If you think your child is using drugs, the first day sets the tone for everything that follows. After you have handled any immediate danger, take a breath before reacting. If your child is intoxicated, wait until they are sober to have a serious conversation. You cannot reason with someone who is high or drunk.
- Check immediate safety. If you suspect an overdose or see signs of immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room now.
- Pause if they are intoxicated. Wait until your child is sober enough to talk clearly and safely.
- Write down what you saw. Note specific behaviors, items found, or physical changes without jumping to conclusions.
- Choose a calm, private time. Find a quiet moment when neither of you is rushed, angry, or tired.
- Listen and discuss safety. Ask open questions like "I noticed you’ve been sleeping a lot lately; what’s going on?" State your concern for their safety rather than accusing them of lying or stealing.
- Agree on a next step. Suggest seeing a doctor or counselor for an assessment to understand what is happening.
It helps to know that changes in mood, sleep, appetite, or appearance are not proof of drug use. These signs can come from stress, depression, anxiety, puberty, or other health issues. While surveys show many teens try substances,[4] those numbers describe groups of students across the country.[4] They do not confirm that one specific teen is using drugs. A professional assessment can help sort out whether drugs are involved or if something else is going on.
Prevalence and frequency
of substance use among U.S. secondary school students in 8th, 10th, and 12th grades[4]
Historical trends
in use by students in those grades[4]
Right now
Address immediate safety concerns first. If there is any risk of overdose or harm, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room now.
Once sober
Have a calm conversation when your child can participate fully. Listen more than you speak.
Later today
Contact a pediatrician, school counselor, or local assessment service to schedule an evaluation.
Next few days
Agree on clear boundaries and look into support options together.
How to Talk to an Addicted Family Member
Finding out your child is using drugs is scary. You want to fix it, but pushing too hard can make them shut down. The goal of the first conversation isn't to force treatment. It is to show you care and keep the door open.
Start by sharing specific things you have noticed, like changes in sleep or grades. Say what you saw, not what you think it means. Ask them what is going on, then listen. Try not to argue, shame or threaten. If they get defensive, stay calm and let them know you are there when they are ready to talk.
It helps to bring in a professional early on. You don't need to diagnose a substance use disorder yourself. Instead, ask a doctor or counselor for an assessment. They can tell you if the use is risky and what kind of help fits best.
The approach differs depending on whether your child is a minor or an adult. For a teen, you can usually guide them toward care. For an adult child, you can offer support, but they make their own choices in most cases. Always ask the clinician how privacy rules apply in your situation, as laws vary by state and age.
| Topic | Talking With a Teen | Talking With an Adult Child |
|---|---|---|
| Who is involved | You and your teen; often a school counselor or pediatrician too | Just you and your adult child; they choose who else knows |
| Opening line | "I care about you, and I’m worried about what I saw. Can we talk about what’s going on?" | "I care about you, and I’m worried about what I saw. " |
| What to ask | "Have you been feeling stressed or having trouble sleeping lately?" | "Is there anything going on that feels heavy right now?" |
| Offering help | "Let’s see your doctor together so we can figure out next steps." | "I’m here if you want help finding resources or just want to talk." |
| Privacy note | Ask the doctor how much your teen’s visit stays private. | Ask the doctor what information they can share with family. |
If your child is under 18, look into treatment options for teens that focus on youth-specific care.
If You Find Drugs at Home
Finding a substance in your home can be scary. Your first job is to keep everyone safe, especially other children and pets. Here is how to handle the moment and the conversation that follows.
Immediate Safety Steps
Do not touch, taste, or smell an unknown substance to figure out what it is. Appearance alone does not tell you what a substance is or how strong it might be. Keep children and pets away from the area until you know what you are dealing with.
If someone may have taken the substance and shows signs of an overdose, or if anyone is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room now. Do not wait for symptoms to worsen. If someone touched the substance but seems fine, call Poison Control for advice on a non-emergency exposure question.
If You Find a Substance at Home
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Setting Household Boundaries
Once everyone is calm, talk about safety and expectations. Clear limits help protect everyone in the house. Be specific about what is allowed in shared spaces, rules about driving after using substances, how money is handled, and how you will keep other household members safe. Avoid making threats you do not intend to follow through on; consistent boundaries work better than empty warnings. These household boundaries give structure while you seek professional support for your child’s substance use disorder.
Safe Medicine Disposal
For known, unused prescription medicines, do not treat them like regular trash if safer options exist.[5] The DEA provides authorized options for returning unused prescription medicines, including take-back locations and events.[5] Never assume an unknown substance can be disposed of like routine medication waste; use official guidance instead.
For more detailed strategies on maintaining a safe environment when living with someone who uses substances, read our guide on home safety with drug use.
Finding an Assessment and Treatment
Getting a professional check is often the best next step. Start with your child’s pediatrician or primary care clinician. They can discuss signs to watch for. They can also refer you to a substance-use specialist if needed.
If your child is under 18, ask the clinician how the teen can join the talk. Ask what privacy rules apply in your state. If your child is an adult, you usually cannot require treatment without their consent. Offer to help research options instead. Offer to attend an appointment if they invite you.
Which Next Step Fits Right Now?
This quick check helps you decide where to start. It is not a diagnosis. No score can rule out an emergency.
Which Next Step Fits Right Now?
This self-check is for information only and isn't a diagnosis.
How Treatment Works
A professional will use a comprehensive check to determine the right level of care.[6] This might range from outpatient counseling to more structured programs or residential treatment.[6] Treatment plans are individualized and may include behavioral therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy, and for some substances, medication.[7] Ask providers how different options fit your child’s specific situation.
Resources for Finding Care
Finding substance use treatment for a family member can feel overwhelming, but free resources exist to help navigate it. SAMHSA’s National Helpline provides free, confidential treatment referral and information services 24 hours a day, seven days a week.[8] You can also use FindTreatment.gov, which is SAMHSA’s locator for finding mental-health and substance-use treatment services across the country.[9]
Before an appointment, it helps to gather information about your child’s history and symptoms. Our guide on preparing for an addiction assessment offers practical tips for this step. Whether you are seeking treatment for teens and adults, having these details ready can make the first visit more productive.
Support Yourself and Other Children at Home
Taking care of your child doesn’t mean you have to control their choices alone. You are allowed to set limits, ask for help and take care of your own well-being. Consider talking to a trusted friend, joining a family support group, or seeing a counselor who understands addiction. Finding treatment programs near you can also connect you with resources for the whole family.
If other children live in your home, try to explain what is happening in a simple, honest way that fits their age. Reassure them clearly that the situation is not their fault and that they did not cause it. Help them identify a trusted adult, like a relative, teacher or school counselor, whom they can talk to if they feel worried or confused.
Living in a household with substance misuse is recognized by the CDC as an adverse childhood experience (ACE), which can affect a child’s sense of safety and stability.[10] For more specific guidance on helping kids navigate this stress, read our guide on support for children affected by addiction.
You might also look into peer-support groups. NIAAA notes that Al-Anon is a peer-led mutual support group for family members and others affected by a person’s drinking.[11] Alateen is similar but designed specifically for teens and young adults affected by someone else’s drinking. These groups provide community and understanding from people facing similar challenges. They are not clinical treatment or therapy, but many parents find them helpful for learning coping strategies and feeling less isolated.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do if I find drugs in my adult child’s room?
Keep children and pets away, and do not handle or try to identify an unknown substance. If someone may have overdosed or is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room now. When it is safe, talk with your adult child without assuming what the substance is or who used it. Offer support and set clear household safety limits.
What should I do if my child is high right now?
Do not argue or try to have a major conversation while your child is intoxicated. Keep them in a safer setting and do not let them drive. If your child is hard to wake, breathing very slowly or not at all, has blue or gray lips or fingertips, or you suspect an overdose, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room now. If opioid overdose is possible and naloxone is available, use it while calling 911. For a non-emergency exposure question, contact Poison Control at 1-800-222-1222; it is not a substitute for 911 in an emergency.
What should I do if my child denies using drugs?
Do not treat denial as proof either way. Stay with what you observed, explain your concern, and ask whether your child would speak with a healthcare professional. For a teen, you can ask the clinician how private time and confidentiality are handled and what limits apply.
How do I deal with a son who is using drugs at home?
Focus on specific household safety limits, such as no driving while impaired and keeping substances away from children and pets. State what you can offer, such as help finding an assessment, and what limits you will maintain in your home. Avoid threats, shaming, or trying to manage the situation alone. Approaches like Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) teach loved ones how to change their own behavior to help the person engage in treatment.[12]
Can I make my adult child go to treatment?
Do not assume you can require an adult child to accept treatment. Offer choices and help with practical steps if they want support. Rules for emergency evaluation or involuntary treatment depend on state law and the specific circumstances; consult a qualified local professional about legal questions.
What is the number-one drug used by teens?
When discussing teen drug use, always specify the survey year, the grade level, and whether the measure refers to past-month, past-year, or lifetime use.
What might someone with a substance use disorder say when confronted?
There is no single response that proves or rules out drug use; avoid relying on a script or stereotype. Diagnosis requires a pattern of criteria, with at least two of 11 criteria occurring within a 12-month period.[13] Keep the conversation focused on observable concerns and safety, and leave diagnosis to a qualified professional assessing the broader pattern.
